The Gamer's Manifesto for the Next Generation

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Artificial Clone

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The Gamer's Manifesto for the Next Generation
« on: July 25, 2005, 08:46:06 am »
1. Give us A.I. that will actually outsmart us now and then.
     We get so overjoyed every time an enemy actually shoots from cover in a game that we forgive the fact that real, advanced A.I. is as much an unfulfilled promise as the flying car. Where are the FPS bad guys who can adapt their strategy on the fly? Enemies who themselves have six different guns and switch up according to what the situation calls for? Bad guys who work in teams, who strategize, who create diversions to distract you? Where's the enemy Solid Snake who sneaks up on you with the silence of a ninja's church fart?

2. Give us a genre of game we've never seen before. Something that's not an FPS or an RPG or Madden NFL
    Considering how broad the gaming market is now, there is a remarkably narrow range of games out there. Could this be what the news wires were talking about last year when they spoke of a "crisis of creativity" in gaming?

3. Don't bullshit us about your graphics
    How, in 2005, can there still be gamers taken in by EXCLUSIVE SCREENSHOTS of games that are obviously taken from cutscenes and have NO connection with what the actual game will look like? I blame the developers formerly known as Square for this. They're the ones who ran their entire ad campaign for Final Fantasy VIII with their cut scenes but actually game play look like disfigured polygons.  The same thing with Madden this year, do you actually believe you'll be playing a life-like DFM?

4. All of the new consoles will have hard drives. Use them
    There is not one single reason in the known universe for even one more game where the save point is ten motherfvcking minutes away from the boss, forcing me to fight my way down the same hallway each of the 62 attempts it takes me to beat the guy (I'm looking at you, Metroid Prime 2).

5. Loading....................................
   How in the hell did we ever let games get away with "Loading..." screens? The Gamecube doesn't have those, not on the games made by Nintendo. Hell, the 8-bit NES didn't have load screens 20 years ago. Our favorite TV shows don't load. DVD movies don't load between scenes. The animals at the zoo don't load. Yes, the hardware can do it. But developers don't think it's important.

6. Immersion and the invisible hand of God
    Immersion means soothing to sleep the part of our brain that remembers we're not intergalactic bounty hunters or world-class athletes. And that part of us is rudely jostled awake when our snowboarder bounces off an invisible wall in midair.

7. Stop the Short-Sighted Business Bullshit
    Exclusive sports licenses. Say goodbye to NFL football anywhere but with EA. That's right, they signed a deal with the NFL saying nobody could make games but them. So every other pro football game, including Sega's, will be back to using fictional teams so get ready to play as the Dallas Zombies with all-star QB Cletus fvckhat.

Cashing in on Crappy Genre Knockoffs. For every Grand Theft Auto, there is a Driv3r. For every Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic there is a Fight Club: Soup Befouler. This is no joke. A movie goer will bitch about a movie he "wasted" seven bucks on. But to leave $55 at the game store and find out you got a knockoff turd in return? That's some serious customer dissatisfaction, my friends. And it will bite the industry in the ass some day, unless somebody wakes up.

8. Don't use the online capability as an excuse to release broken games.
    The first time we hear the word "patch" in relation to a PS3 or XBox 360 game, we're taking the console back to the store.

9. Don't let other features distract from gaming
    As a rule, a console is a better game machine than a cheap PC because all it does is play games. So does anyone else get worried when Microsoft and Sony both boast about their machines' ability to rip MP3's and play movies and chat online and do your taxes?

      We'll try to be calm and avoid the violent hyperbole that spoils so many gaming websites, but are you telling me that Congress can hold hearings about steroids in baseball, but they can't do anything about jumping puzzles in first-person games.

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Re: The Gamer's Manifesto for the Next Generation
« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2005, 09:32:33 pm »
I only play, against other gamers.
but I agree with a lot of what you said.

Jeff in San Diego

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Re: The Gamer's Manifesto for the Next Generation
« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2005, 09:55:03 pm »
I agree with you for the most part, but we do have a new genre sort of now with the technology that GTA has provided.

Plus Square can still do no wrong as long as they still make great storeis tha keep you intrigued