Author Topic: Definitely nutter material  (Read 738 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Rick in Tampa

  • Posts: 55
  • Karma: +1
Definitely nutter material
« on: July 25, 2015, 01:04:30 pm »
WYOMING MAN FOUND WITH 30 EYEBALLS IN HIS ANAL CAVITY

July 24, 2015

Feeling they could have a potential murderer on their hands, police quickly drew guns and cuffed Tilbott.

Tilbott assured police the eyeballs were not human, but instead cow eyeballs he had pilfered from Johnson Meats (a slaughterhouse) where Tilbott is employed as a butcher.

“Company won’t let us take animal scraps home and instead toss them in the landfill,” Tilbott said in the police report. “They’re a very wasteful company. We should be allowed to take scrap meat and other parts home. The company should start a green initiative. They don’t even have recycling at the plant.”

Tilbott explained his actions:  “I enjoy eating bovine eyeballs and smuggling them out in my colon was the only way I knew how to get them out without potentially getting caught and fired.”

Tilbott told police he estimates he has smuggled several thousand eyeballs from the plant over the past few months.

“I put them in soups,” Tilbott said in the police report. “They’re beneficial for erectile dysfunction, which I currently battle, but I also just like the texture and taste.”

Tilbott was arrested for driving under the influence, his BAC two times higher than the legal limit, plus he was in possession of several large carving knives possibly stolen from the meat packing plant, but Tilbott has not been charged with theft as police need to further investigate to determine who the knives belong to.

Police are also unsure whether to charge Tilbott with theft for the bovine eyeballs. They are waiting to talk with Tilbott’s employer first.

http://crazed.com/wyoming-man-eyeballs-in-cavity/

Rick in Tampa

  • Posts: 55
  • Karma: +1
Re: Definitely nutter material
« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2015, 01:05:03 pm »
In before "cool story bro."

Stab

  • Morally Flexible
  • -Nutter-
  • Posts: 2623
  • Karma: +111
  • Flat Sun Denier
Re: Definitely nutter material
« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2015, 01:39:27 pm »
Please, keep us updated.
Wisconsin BadgersMilwaukee BrewersMilwaukee BucksGreen Bay Packers
Not the worst. Not even close.

spooky2cool

  • Posts: 9
  • Karma: +0
Re: Definitely nutter material
« Reply #3 on: July 25, 2015, 02:28:34 pm »

Sounds like a real sick bastard to me.   I wouldn't allow him in your local Theater!
San Francisco 49ers

Steve in HTown

  • -Admin-
  • Posts: 23786
  • Karma: +263
    • stucknut
Re: Definitely nutter material
« Reply #4 on: July 25, 2015, 03:48:00 pm »
Cow eyes are probably pretty pick. I wonder if he worked his way up from rabbit eyes or something.

 :blush
Texas LonghornsHouston AstrosHouston RocketsCleveland Browns

VicNocal

  • NFL Pool Champ
  • -Member-
  • Posts: 2527
  • Karma: +10
  • My brand > Your brand
    • vicnocal
Re: Definitely nutter material
« Reply #5 on: July 25, 2015, 07:42:03 pm »
Cow eye tacos are actually surprisingly good.  :koolaid
California Golden BearsChicago BullsChicago Bears
Invariably this Wednesday when I go to Chic Fil A, the woman will ask if the money I left on the counter is mine, and I'll smile and say, "No its yours". - B.P. in Houston

spooky2cool

  • Posts: 9
  • Karma: +0
Re: Definitely nutter material
« Reply #6 on: July 25, 2015, 11:44:47 pm »



I'm beginning to think that this story is all BULLSHIT .... something that you would find on "the ONION"!    How does a guy fit a bunch of Cow Eye Balls up his ass in the first place?
San Francisco 49ers

Hedstrom

  • -Nutter-
  • Posts: 10784
  • Karma: +54
  • Born and Raised in South Detroit
    • hedstrombacon
    • @hedstrombacon
Re: Definitely nutter material
« Reply #7 on: July 26, 2015, 05:11:59 am »
Was just curious why this isn't in Chive Talking?
Miami DolphinsCalgary Flames

testudo

  • Stucknut historian (y'all don't want this)
  • -Nutter-
  • Posts: 17621
  • Karma: +135
  • Amberlamp Driver
Re: Definitely nutter material
« Reply #8 on: July 27, 2015, 08:53:48 am »
Justin can shove a rack of billiard balls up his ass and still ride a dirt bike.  This shat ain't news. 




:lol   this made me laugh out loud.    I"m going to get fi-red over this site someday..    WTF is tudo laughing at..  get to work.   
Maryland TerrapinsBaltimore OriolesWashington WizardsBaltimore RavensWashington Capitals

Learjet89

  • -Nutter-
  • Posts: 15480
  • Karma: +6
  • -Fact Checker-
Re: Definitely nutter material
« Reply #9 on: July 27, 2015, 12:44:11 pm »

:lol   this made me laugh out loud.    I"m going to get fi-red over this site someday..    WTF is tudo laughing at..  get to work.

How can you fire yourself?

Or is your "Top Secret DoD" position very sensitive to you logging in here?
Xavier MusketeersCincinnati RedsCincinnati Bengals

testudo

  • Stucknut historian (y'all don't want this)
  • -Nutter-
  • Posts: 17621
  • Karma: +135
  • Amberlamp Driver
Re: Definitely nutter material
« Reply #10 on: July 27, 2015, 01:17:40 pm »
How can you fire yourself?

Or is your "Top Secret DoD" position very sensitive to you logging in here?

You can lose contracts... and if you lose all of them... you are essentially unemployed.   Are you following me on this so far?   Because it's going to get a little more complicated.

I worked for the State Department for 1 year.   Made 120 dollar per hour working at the pentagon on a procurement application.    I have a top secret security clearance.   

When I met willeh in Ohio I had a contract with a food company...  Right now my contracts are with a restaurant chain that you would recognize might have even eaten in one and with an Insurance Company.

Someone from Ohio searched my background.  I do still think it was you.  1.  Because you been stalking me for 3 years.   2.  Because you are a deep pallete,  thumb sucking douchebag.      It was either you.  Or one mutherfvcking HELL of a coincidence.

And by the way.   I was in Panama,in the army, and got a CIB.    Just because i don't answer your questions.   Doesn't mean I can't.   Follow me on this?   
« Last Edit: July 27, 2015, 01:28:57 pm by testudo »
Maryland TerrapinsBaltimore OriolesWashington WizardsBaltimore RavensWashington Capitals

Justin NoCal

  • Dickpuss Penegor, PhD.
  • -Nutter-
  • Posts: 10824
  • Karma: +133
  • leave the gun, take the cannolis
Re: Definitely nutter material
« Reply #11 on: July 27, 2015, 02:09:33 pm »
well jay....

i guess you could say im up to my a-hole in eyeballs.

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


 :uhh
California Golden BearsSan Francisco GiantsSacramento KingsWashington Redskins
Elevate, excavate, eliminate.

frankinhouston

  • -Member-
  • Posts: 5564
  • Karma: +33
    • @harryhooper8
Re: Definitely nutter material
« Reply #12 on: July 27, 2015, 08:32:18 pm »
had some badass barbacoa tacos in monterrey this weekend. it's mostly cheek meat, no eyeballs. muy rico

f
Texas A&M AggiesHouston AstrosHouston RocketsHouston Texans

Spanky

  • -Security-
  • Posts: 27299
  • Karma: +32
  • Has 2008 racks more than this
Re: Definitely nutter material
« Reply #13 on: July 27, 2015, 09:34:21 pm »
There's a "see me coming" + spaz mom joke to be made bere but I'm not gonna work on it
Nebraska CornhuskersNew York YankeesNew York JetsMontreal Canadiens

Hedstrom

  • -Nutter-
  • Posts: 10784
  • Karma: +54
  • Born and Raised in South Detroit
    • hedstrombacon
    • @hedstrombacon
Re: Definitely nutter material
« Reply #14 on: July 28, 2015, 06:19:35 am »
I also seem to remember a joke about the last thing a fly sees before it hits a windshield that may be apropos.

If anyone sees Jeffe, ask him. He'll remember how it goes. He has a great sense of humo(u)r.
Miami DolphinsCalgary Flames