Author Topic: So... how was your weekend..  (Read 1761 times)

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testudo

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So... how was your weekend..
« on: August 09, 2015, 01:52:15 pm »
Something happened to me that never happened before.   (Paging Dog.)

I got a BJ from a girl who is not of my race .. .and she put pop-rocks in her mouth first.. 

Obviously I cant introduce her to my mother.   (the pop rock thing my mother would have a problem with...)

But I keeping her around. . Will be cooking her dinner.,

« Last Edit: August 09, 2015, 03:34:13 pm by testudo »
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Spanky

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Re: So... how was your weekend..
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2015, 02:22:13 pm »
:lol Tall tales tudo

1st: Where do you even find Pop Rocks anymore? They haven't been in stores since 1989.

2nd: This reeks of some outlandish bullshit story college bros tell each other during rush week to one-up each other. Whats next, Altoids brah??

3rd: Why the fvck would anyone cram their mouth full of jagged choking hazards if they're shoving a dick in there at the same time? Unlesz of course, the dick.isn't taking up too much room I guess...

4th: The whole premise of an adult woman sucking your dick in the 1st place, in addition to all of the other factors being present is laughable at best. So what, you just picked up this woman at an Outback, and she just happened to have Pop Rocks in her purse? What adult woman carries sugar candies from the 80s around just in case she feels the need to blow some loser in a Chilis parking lot?
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testudo

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Re: So... how was your weekend..
« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2015, 02:22:37 pm »
:lol...  I think she read it out of a girls magazine.    Like Cosmo... 

I'm still uncurling my toes.   

:lol dudes that pay for sex. 

:lol BRB... I'm going to Costco to buy a case of pop rocks...   I'd never have thought of that...  glad to see there are people on the ball and writing about it..  spread the message.

Advance the kingdom.
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Skullet

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Re: So... how was your weekend..
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2015, 02:26:20 pm »
:lol Tall tales tudo

1st: Where do you even find Pop Rocks anymore? They haven't been in stores since 1989.

2nd: This reeks of some outlandish bullshit story college bros tell each other during rush week to one-up each other. Whats next, Altoids brah??

3rd: Why the fvck would anyone cram their mouth full of jagged choking hazards if they're shoving a dick in there at the same time? Unlesz of course, the dick.isn't taking up too much room I guess...

4th: The whole premise of an adult woman sucking your dick in the 1st place, in addition to all of the other factors being present is laughable at best. So what, you just picked up this woman at an Outback, and she just happened to have Pop Rocks in her purse? What adult woman carries sugar candies from the 80s around just in case she feels the need to blow some loser in a Chilis parking lot?
+1 :beer
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testudo

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Re: So... how was your weekend..
« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2015, 02:30:20 pm »
You don't really have a lot of sex Brock, so I see why this would confuse you.

I have a lot of sex... and it confused me for a very short millisecond....Then it immediately began to make sense.

All I need to know is if 1 of the other 3 people that on this site that actually gets laid... has had this happen to them.  ..  If this happened to anyone here.. it happened with Dog.   Maybe pooldoc when he was much younger...   

She just left.... just  drove off...  she's coming back Thursday..   

yurshin... please weld me a purple dildo... i'm all in now.   

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testudo

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Re: So... how was your weekend..
« Reply #5 on: August 09, 2015, 02:35:32 pm »
I didn't look at the expiration date on the bag of pop rocks Bjork,   but they were definitely pop rocks.  If I got a BJ with a 1989 bag of pop rocks,  then I'm re-opening that fvcking company under my name... and changing the marketing strategy...   

It will be more "customer facing"  and more "user friendly"   and the ROI will be moar pwn. 


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Spanky

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Re: So... how was your weekend..
« Reply #6 on: August 09, 2015, 02:36:21 pm »
Yeah and maybe this 14 year old girl will come back on her pink Schwinn and blow you with some Fun Dip next time. I bet you like the Cindy Brady pigtails huh?

Keep spinning this yarn, Cap'n Crunchtudo
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Skullet

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Re: So... how was your weekend..
« Reply #7 on: August 09, 2015, 02:39:46 pm »
Have her put some pop rocks in your ass next time and let everyone know how it goes. :bananbang
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Norman in Norman

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Re: So... how was your weekend..
« Reply #8 on: August 09, 2015, 03:04:10 pm »
Have her put some pop rocks in your ass next time and let everyone know how it goes. :bananbang
:lol
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testudo

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Re: So... how was your weekend..
« Reply #9 on: August 09, 2015, 03:27:41 pm »
:hmm

Don't get me started..     all I need is a push..  I'd never thought of this,  but now I have all kinds of different applications for this...

I'm trying to think of a way to  ... because you can't put sugar in a vagina...   I mean you CAN.. but in the long run it's a petri dish..   There's like seven hundred different strands of yeast... 

But I digress...

It's carbon dioxide..  Carbon dioxide sublimes at room temperature.   This means it goes directly from solid to gas.. I realize I lost most of you at "vagina"... and so it's almost worthless to bring up the chemistry....

You can't put dry ice in a woman's vagina or her mouth....   you just can't.   I mean you CAN..  But you'd have to call 9-11.. and I just know better.. so I keep my penis away from dry ice...talk about a Christmas Story.    You don't want to put your tongue on that pole..

 so you need to ... and well I need to..  figure out a way to make the vagina and mouth be bubbly...  without sugar being the bonding agent...

I'm going to fvck everyone.. the day I can figure out the molecular structure..  And I'm fvcking close now...

Here's sugar:

     

Here's Carbon Dioxide:

« Last Edit: August 09, 2015, 03:40:44 pm by testudo »
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testudo

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Re: So... how was your weekend..
« Reply #10 on: August 09, 2015, 03:32:41 pm »
:lol Global Warming.. 
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testudo

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Re: So... how was your weekend..
« Reply #11 on: August 09, 2015, 03:49:39 pm »
What's awesome is William Jefferson Clinton  never experienced this... She had a blue dress.  Mine was had on a little black dress..       

My penis is exhausted..   

5-7-5 

In my all male orgy tomorrow they will say  "tudo, what do you think?"     

And Ill just blurt it out!

POPROCKS!...   huh?  what.?    ...
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Re: So... how was your weekend..
« Reply #12 on: August 09, 2015, 04:17:31 pm »
I'm sure the other valets will be thrilled by your story

In the meantime, please use the link I have provided so that you can enjoy the next time you want your dog to perform an unnatural sexual act (AKA sodomy) on you

http://www.amazon.com/Pop-Rocks-Variety-0-33-ounce-Assorted/dp/B0087RPJEK/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1439154491&sr=8-3&keywords=pop+rocks+candy
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testudo

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Re: So... how was your weekend..
« Reply #13 on: August 09, 2015, 05:27:42 pm »
Did you research the photo LearJet..?   oh wait there's not a photo...

You are a greasy haired,  thumb sucking prick... and a man stalker...  "Wahh!! "I never had bullets whizzing around my head,  but I was deploy to the Gulf of Mexico twice."

:lol..

You are an amazing pussy.  Almost spectacular in that way..

Thumb sucking, deep pallette pussy. 

Zero poprocks.

Blow job?  yeah zero..   

You are a spectacular pussy.  And you sent your resume to Club America.. trying to "Network."   

:lol

when i get time.. I'm gong to add  you to the voting of the most spectacular loser.
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Re: So... how was your weekend..
« Reply #14 on: August 09, 2015, 06:18:14 pm »
:lol Tall Tales Tudo reading chick lit again.

 Next he'll tell us about the time when he was in college and got seduced by a young business magnate named Christian Grey that tied him to a bed and slapped him on the ass a little bit.
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