Author Topic: Testes Droning on Just for -f  (Read 275 times)

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testudo

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Testes Droning on Just for -f
« on: April 08, 2016, 10:18:02 pm »
The life and Times of Testudo:

I was born and raised in washington D.C.

I went to High School at a school just outside of washington D.C.

In 1982 my High School played a school named Northwestern for the state championship. What's interesting about that?   Northwestern's star player was a young man named Len Bias.  The game was over.   Northwestern was up by one.   A young man named Vernon Butler chucked it from half court right in Lenny's face and it went in and my high school took the championship.

I knew Len Bias personally.  As well as his little brother Jay.   Len Bias's real name was Leonard.

Len Bias went on to play at Maryland.   Vernon Butler became a Navy Seal.

I graduated HS in 1985 and went to Maryland.

Joined the Army because I was broke.   Wound up in some shitty base in California called Fort Ord.  Got deployed to Fort Sherman for Jungle Training school--that's located around the panama canal--should have been my first clue.    Shortly after that,  got deployed to the real deal for Operation Just Cause.  We occupied a part of Panama called the Colon province around Christmas of 89.   Occupied some naval base and a couple other places in and around Colon.   We were along side the 82nd Airborne for a bit.  Returned around February.   We were not there long.   

I was out somewhere in the June time frame--that's when Bush Gulf 1 was just heating up.   I almost was forced to stay in for the simple reason that I could drive a manual transmission truck with night vision qualification.   Yes,   in order to drive with night vision, the Army makes you take a qualification course.

But I didn't have to go and I'm happy about that.

I actually am personal friends with some of the guys that fought in Somalia in 1993 even though I was well out of the Army by then.  I know Todd Blackburn.  He's a cop here in Florida.  He's the guy that missed the rope and fell.    I know Keni Thomas.  He plays in a country band that he started while he was still in the service.    He titled his first album  "Headspace and Timing" which is clever because it has a double meaning.... it's a setting for 50 caliber machine guns,  but also has to do with life in general.

I graduated from Maryland in 1992 (Mathematics).    Went on to teach school on the Eastern Shore of Maryland.   Coached Girls Basketball for 2 years.    Won two state championships because I had this awesome player named Kelley Gibson.   She went on to play at University of Maryland.  Tore both ACLS.   Got them fixed.  Then went on to play for the Houston comets and won either 1 or 2 WNBA championships with Sheryl Swoops.   She then assistant coached at Syracuse and now coaches at Rutgers.

Then coached boys J.V. and beat a team that hadnt lost a game in 20 years.  Beat them twice.   

I just happened to be at Camden yards when Cal Ripken broke his streak.    I'm not real bright so I was wondering why everryone was cheering and standing.   Because he just didn't come out.   There was justt a different person on third base.    I asked people why is everyone cheering?    "Duh, because Cal isn't out there.   He broke his streak.

I left the Eastern Shore and went back to teach at my old high school.   Coached basketball there.  We weren't very good, but the teams we played were amazing.  Mike Sweetney from Oxon Hill,  A couple of others that went pro.

I quit teaching to make money as a computer programmer.

Moved to NYC.   I  was at exchance place in Jersey City when 9-11 happened.    Saw the second plane hit   Saw both towers fall.    Watched people jumping out of the buildings.   Contrary to popular belief, they don't make a splat noise they make a noise that sounds like a cannon shot when they hit the pavement.

For days following, they used the water taxi's to carry the bodies to exchange place to load them into ambulances to take them away.   

I left NYC for  Florida when my father got sick.  I work as a contractor now.

Even though I've been in jail for some weapons charges,   I have a top secret security clearance and often work at the Pentagon.   (That's because the charges were dropped.  But I still did time in the same jail as Stab.)

I've also worked for smuckers,  (that's where i met willeh and mike in crackron)   

I'm sure I'm leaving some things out,  but I've really led a fairly interesting life.   


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frankinhouston

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Re: Testes Droning on Just for -f
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2016, 10:24:51 pm »
thanks for the bio. i respect you a little more. here come the trolls.

f
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B.P. in H town

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Re: Testes Droning on Just for -f
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2016, 11:10:49 pm »
   Len Bias's real name was Leonard.

 

Wow, thankfully Testudo actually knew Len Bias or nobody here would have guessed that "Len's" real name was "Leonard".

I was always under the assumption Len Bias's real name was Firmin.

I went to school with Abe Lincoln, the president.  His real name was Abraham.

Justin NoCal

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Re: Testes Droning on Just for -f
« Reply #3 on: April 08, 2016, 11:15:48 pm »
Yeah but did you know Brawndo has what plants crave?
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Spanky

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Re: Testes Droning on Just for -f
« Reply #4 on: April 08, 2016, 11:19:24 pm »
This is how you spent a Friday night. Awesome job bro.

I didn't read a single word of it.
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Re: Testes Droning on Just for -f
« Reply #5 on: April 08, 2016, 11:21:16 pm »
I skimmed it.  He has better work on here. 

testudo

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Re: Testes Droning on Just for -f
« Reply #6 on: April 09, 2016, 12:11:46 am »

I'm kind of tired,  but also can't sleep.  Can't help but notice you are here though.

 A lot of people think that Len Bias' name is just "Len"

My point is,  I walk through life chasing paper and girls.   But when I really look back on things,  I've had some very unique experiences.     

I know Walt Williams.   I've played pickup basketball with Manute Bol.   You couldn't see it on TV but close up Manute Bol had a bunch of tribal scars on his face.

I had my pinkie finger dislocated by Jerrod Mustaf.    When I coached basketball,  I'd go to summer basketball clinics where I've had drinks with Mike Krzyzewski--he's hilarious.   He's nothing like how he acts on TV.    I met a number of other coaches too, they are all very charasmatic.   The clinic was always held in Pittsburgh.

Except Bobby Cremins.   He used to coach Georgia Tech.  He was horrible with his X's and O's and was absolutely uninspiring.   

I've been to India on business.    This  hot Indian chick at the hotel I was staying at asked me to dance,  so I danced with her and talked with her for a few hours.   Then she left.   When she left the bartender asked me if I knew her.   I said "no."    He said "that was Tamanaah Bhatia.    She's a movie star."   And he walked away shaking his head.   I said "She was probably hanging with me precisely because I didn't know who she was."

CVS's Corporate office is in or near Woonsocket, RI.   I was working a contract there.   I would go to the same bar every evening.   The thing I noticed about RI is people knock into you a lot.   Even at the cafeteria at the salad bar.

Someone knocked into me at the bar,  and I said to this guy next to me...  "Dude,  people just run into you here.  They don't say excuse me or anything.  It happens all day long.   He agreed.   Then we just talked for awhile until about half time of Monday night football,   and he left.     A couple people walked up to me and said "Are you in the movie too?"   I said "What movie?"   They said "I guess not.  Do you know that was Richard Gere that you were just talking to?"    I said "Bullshit."   They said "Nope,  that was Richard Gere,  he's filming a movie here."

He didn't look anything like Richard Gere.  He had long gray hair and looked pretty old.   The movie was about a dog.   Called a Dog's Tail or something like that.   I Never saw it.   He did introduce himself as Richard.   But I didn't recognize him.   

All that,  culminates to being up at 1 am and poating on stucknut.  which is by far the highlight of my life.

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Re: Testes Droning on Just for -f
« Reply #7 on: April 09, 2016, 02:54:56 pm »
Sounds like you occupied a lot of colon   :bananbang
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Joe in EastVan

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Re: Testes Droning on Just for -f
« Reply #8 on: April 09, 2016, 04:20:40 pm »
  Coached Girls Basketball for 2 years.   


 :banana

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Re: Testes Droning on Just for -f
« Reply #9 on: April 09, 2016, 04:29:05 pm »
Cool starry bra  :uhh
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Re: Testes Droning on Just for -f
« Reply #10 on: April 09, 2016, 04:53:49 pm »
Is this her? the actress?

Wow.
Interesting though. We've all done some interesting shit, met celebrities etc. traveled. Wish I could talk about my military shit (89-99) but the good stuff was developmental classified shit so obviously can't be here. Barely have the time to type this much myself but do tell bro....
« Last Edit: April 09, 2016, 04:56:23 pm by Fomunda Cheesehead »
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frankinhouston

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Re: Testes Droning on Just for -f
« Reply #11 on: April 09, 2016, 07:24:47 pm »
Is this her? the actress?

Wow.
Interesting though. We've all done some interesting shit, met celebrities etc. traveled. Wish I could talk about my military shit (89-99) but the good stuff was developmental classified shit so obviously can't be here. Barely have the time to type this much myself but do tell bro....

why do you need to correct yourself so much "fumunda?" YES...that's how you spell it

f
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