So on yesterday's show, there were a bunch of conspiracy theories thrown out there, including a couple about my real identity.
>THEORY: I am the creation of Kyle Brandt and Alvin Delloro.
>FACT: As good as Lyle and Alvie are at what they do, they do not have the necessary level of sophistication, originality or creativity to create a guy who sings parodies from the likes of Neil Sedaka, Connie Francis, Petula Clark, etc. Even if they created a character who fit Rome's mold of "a good caller", it's still not as creative as the concept of the SedakAttack.
>THEORY: Slash from Brentwood suggests that I am in fact Lance Ito.
>FACT 1: The warden at the Las Vegas prison where Slash is incarcerated must be
REALLY generous to allow Slash access to Twitter, allow him to call The Jim Rome Show and brag about his terrible accomplishment from June 1994, and even LISTEN to the Jungle.
>FACT 2: Slash would know better than anyone, since I did preside over his murder trial from 1995.
Yes, Clones and Stucknutters, I am Lance Ito, retired judge in the Superior Court of Los Angeles County, CA.
I did indeed preside over Slash's trial, and when I retired in 2012, I decided to leave the lights and bustle of LA. I moved first to Louisville and then to Topeka.
As for the trial, with all the evidence against Slash, I was sure he'd be found guilty, and I was stunned when they cleared him. Slash, with apologies to Denny Green, YOU ARE WHO WE THOUGHT YOU WERE, AND THE JURY LET YOU OFF THE HOOK! I was so mad at the jurors for that blatant miscarriage of justice that, after the trial, I walked up to each one of them and told them to - wait for it! -
pull my finger! 
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