So my gf has suckered me into watching some of this mess and it's been painful. I don't dig watching dudes diving together, thunder thigh gymnasts or fugly swimmers. Outside of Alex Morgan from the womens soccer team, chicks flipping over their handlebars in bike races and the occasional Hardees commercial, there is nothing for me to enjoy about these games.
These are Olympic events that should be mandatory:
Womens synchronized pole dancing
Womens wet t shirt water polo
Womens sumo wrestling in traditional Japanese sumo garb (125 lb weight class only)
In addition to ability, all athletes must pass a "hotness" test to be administered by a panel of 10 heterosexual college aged men. I trust their opinion.