In no particular order here is a list of people, places, things and ideas that are totally fvcking wack.
Art made by a person who had a good childhood
Saudi Arabian money
Pete Buttigieg's plan for the Supreme Court
Breastfeeding in public unless you are breastfeeding a baby
Toilet paper companies with mascots like bears, babies or puppies because none of those things use toilet paper
Any Denny's that doesn't have a liquor license
JOE BUCK
Much of Arizona
The book of Job
Feral cats that won't listen to reason
People who call riding a bike "cycling"
Celebrating birthdays when you're over 65
White people who think they are Buddhist
Treating a sarcastic comment as though it were said as an honest belief
Priesthood
People whose favorite song is Kim by Eminem but they change Kim to the name of the woman they love/want to murder when they sing along
toolshed attempting to insult somebody
Essential Oils
Wisdom teeth
Pomegranates
That guy from the "change my mind" meme
The Wilpon Family
Those cartoons with the aliens that badly narrate their mundane interactions
Tony Dungy
People who like Jimmy Buffet but for some inexplicable reason do not like the song Margaritaville
Kevin Durant's Personality
Singing along while wearing headphones in public
Uber and Lyft drivers with brand new cars having to drive for Uber or Lyft to make their car payment
Aaron Rodgers' parents and brother
Mike Huckabee's jokes
Caillou
Gordon Ramsey killing Anthony Bourdain and taking his place
Derek Jeter
Trying to convince a messageboard full of homophobes that you're straight
Any post on social media that starts with "Just a reminder..."
When people say football is like Game of Thrones; the Steelers are not the Greyjoys of the NFL, go read a book that isn't about having sex with your siblings
People who say "Go read a book"
Sierra Mist
Rick Perry except for his dope ass Dancing with the Stars appearance
The outlandishly high prices for used canoes on Craigslist
Airports
Mark Jackson
Celebrities that think Flint, Michigan is the only place in the US without clean drinking water
All corporate twitter accounts including and especially Wendy's
People who watch football but say other sports are boring; any sports broadcast that shows the coach that often could stand to pick up the fvcking pace a little
Elderly Rhinos
Colorado City, Utah
Colorado City, Arizona
That dream where I'm eaten by an entire hive of baby corn
Anyone who is still a fan of Joe Paterno
Nick Kyrgios
When one of my mustache hairs sticks up and tickles my nose hairs and I feel like I have to sneeze
OJ Simpson's eventual talk show
The Keto Diet
Designated Hitters
The idea that Canadians are nice just because they are nicer than Americans
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