Poop and Farts .2

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Moodell

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Poop and Farts .2
« on: June 15, 2021, 08:45:08 am »
Woke up at 3AM once felt the gurggles in my stomach telling me I needed to get out of bed and go now

Sat on the can expecting a torrent. Nothing. I couldn't even feel anything move at all. Then another round of painful cramps and such. I squeeze and the bottom part isn't fvcking budging at all.

I finally realize that although it might be molten liquid shit on the top floor, the exit is completely compacted and blocked off. At this point I have no idea what to do. I am now screaming in pain with every round of cramps and upper bowel movement. I even considered getting some kind of thin device and cramming it in there to break up the stubborn poop party in the lower deck.

After about the 7th round, I feel a slight shift on the bottom. I know you aren't supposed to squeeze but fvck all that nonsense, I was in agony. I am squeezing with all of my might, veins bulging out of my neck and forehead. I know that if this doesn't happen soon, I'm going to pull an Elvis and be found on the can with my eyes rolled into the back of my brain.

Finally a fist-sized piece of shit that was holding up the whole show, shoots out of my ass like Lucifer's Hammer en route to wipe out a whole civilization of Philistines. Immediately after that, is a liquid poo firehose that had so much PSI I'm pretty sure I actually lifted off of the shitter by a few inches. Any harder and I would have been knocked out by hitting my head on the ceiling.  :uhh
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Re: Poop and Farts .2
« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2021, 09:45:40 am »
Sounds like you gave birth to a little black baby.  :uhh
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Re: Poop and Farts .2
« Reply #2 on: June 15, 2021, 10:24:41 am »
 :uhh
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Re: Poop and Farts .2
« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2021, 10:31:41 am »
 :lol Lucifer's Hammer  :uhh
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Re: Poop and Farts .2
« Reply #4 on: June 15, 2021, 11:50:55 am »
Sounds like you gave birth to a little black baby.  :uhh
:lol

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 :lol :uhh
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rob in indy

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Re: Poop and Farts .2
« Reply #5 on: June 15, 2021, 02:28:04 pm »
This was disgusting. Racked
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Re: Poop and Farts .2
« Reply #6 on: June 15, 2021, 07:36:32 pm »
Woke up at 3AM once felt the gurggles in my stomach telling me I needed to get out of bed and go now

Sat on the can expecting a torrent. Nothing. I couldn't even feel anything move at all. Then another round of painful cramps and such. I squeeze and the bottom part isn't fvcking budging at all.

I finally realize that although it might be molten liquid shit on the top floor, the exit is completely compacted and blocked off. At this point I have no idea what to do. I am now screaming in pain with every round of cramps and upper bowel movement. I even considered getting some kind of thin device and cramming it in there to break up the stubborn poop party in the lower deck.

After about the 7th round, I feel a slight shift on the bottom. I know you aren't supposed to squeeze but fvck all that nonsense, I was in agony. I am squeezing with all of my might, veins bulging out of my neck and forehead. I know that if this doesn't happen soon, I'm going to pull an Elvis and be found on the can with my eyes rolled into the back of my brain.

Finally a fist-sized piece of shit that was holding up the whole show, shoots out of my ass like Lucifer's Hammer en route to wipe out a whole civilization of Philistines. Immediately after that, is a liquid poo firehose that had so much PSI I'm pretty sure I actually lifted off of the shitter by a few inches. Any harder and I would have been knocked out by hitting my head on the ceiling.  :uhh

don't push too hard hayta. remember, don't put pressure on you heart.

f
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Moodell

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Re: Poop and Farts .2
« Reply #7 on: November 29, 2021, 02:17:30 pm »
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Re: Poop and Farts .2
« Reply #8 on: November 29, 2021, 03:18:23 pm »
Sounds like George Brett had some awful liquid obozos. :uhh  :blush

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Re: Poop and Farts .2
« Reply #9 on: November 29, 2021, 08:14:39 pm »
Woke up at 3AM once felt the gurggles in my stomach telling me I needed to get out of bed and go now

Sat on the can expecting a torrent. Nothing. I couldn't even feel anything move at all. Then another round of painful cramps and such. I squeeze and the bottom part isn't fvcking budging at all.

I finally realize that although it might be molten liquid shit on the top floor, the exit is completely compacted and blocked off. At this point I have no idea what to do. I am now screaming in pain with every round of cramps and upper bowel movement. I even considered getting some kind of thin device and cramming it in there to break up the stubborn poop party in the lower deck.

After about the 7th round, I feel a slight shift on the bottom. I know you aren't supposed to squeeze but fvck all that nonsense, I was in agony. I am squeezing with all of my might, veins bulging out of my neck and forehead. I know that if this doesn't happen soon, I'm going to pull an Elvis and be found on the can with my eyes rolled into the back of my brain.

Finally a fist-sized piece of shit that was holding up the whole show, shoots out of my ass like Lucifer's Hammer en route to wipe out a whole civilization of Philistines. Immediately after that, is a liquid poo firehose that had so much PSI I'm pretty sure I actually lifted off of the shitter by a few inches. Any harder and I would have been knocked out by hitting my head on the ceiling.  :uhh

i'm in the same boat hayta. but it usually comes about 4 or 5 am. sometimes crap, sometimes vomit. maybe we need to see a doctor and get this shit worked out.

ps- i think my problem may have something to do with acid reflux. who fvcking knows.

f
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Re: Poop and Farts .2
« Reply #10 on: November 29, 2021, 08:34:36 pm »
i'm in the same boat hayta. but it usually comes about 4 or 5 am. sometimes crap, sometimes vomit. maybe we need to see a doctor and get this shit worked out.

ps- i think my problem may have something to do with acid reflux. who fvcking knows.

f

 :lol
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Re: Poop and Farts .2
« Reply #11 on: November 29, 2021, 08:39:17 pm »
Double tapered shit :lol
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Re: Poop and Farts .2
« Reply #12 on: November 30, 2021, 11:40:50 am »
I think George Brett shops at K-Mart.


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Re: Poop and Farts .2
« Reply #13 on: December 01, 2021, 08:44:41 am »
Crack,coke and meth affect regularity,Moodell .